


trust you

by Ruto



Category: Gundam 00
Genre: Angst, Bonding, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Found Family, Gen, Non-Consensual Kissing, feldt and tieria both have unrequited feelings for neil, lyle isn't really present but the whole story is his fault, tieria is a good big brother
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-11-05
Updated: 2017-11-05
Packaged: 2019-01-28 21:03:35
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,634
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12615460
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ruto/pseuds/Ruto
Summary: The emotional fallout of Lyle kissing Feldt.





	trust you

**Author's Note:**

> you're totally gonna think i hate lyle but I SWEAR I DON'T he's just a shit sometimes
> 
> i've never written feldt before and i don't have much practice with 00 fic in general so feedback is greatly appreciated! i can take crit, i promise.

The sound of Feldt’s palm connecting with Lyle’s bare cheek rings out sharp and loud and it lingers.

 

As she dashes out of the hangar, vision blurred by hot tears, she hopes that it hurt.

 

He’s not the real Lockon.

 

He’s nothing like the real Lockon.

 

But he looks so much like him, and the incongruous image of __Lockon__  forcing his mouth onto hers is forever burned into her memory.

 

She can taste him on her tongue and she feels a burning need to wash her mouth out with something, anything. She tells herself to head to one of the bathrooms. She can calm down there: gargle some mouthwash, splash some cold water onto her face, rest her elbows on the countertop and hold her head in her hands as she takes deep breaths. She could shower, maybe. She feels dirty.

 

Feldt scrubs her eyes with her sleeve as she makes her way down the hall. She tries to keep from sniffling so loudly, from letting her breath hitch so much. She doesn’t want anyone to overhear and know that she’s crying.

 

She doesn’t notice Tieria coming around the corner.

 

“Feldt Grace,” Tieria says, and she startles.

 

“--Tieria,” she says in a voice that refuses to be anything other than choked-up, and no matter how rude it may be for her to keep her back to him, she doesn't turn around. She blinks tears out of her vision, unable to bring herself to wipe them with her sleeve. It's useless to pretend that she's calm and composed and she _knows_ this, but she can't bear for him to see her rubbing away her tears. It would be obvious even from where he's standing.

 

She doesn’t know what kind of expression he’s wearing, but he sounds disconcerted.

 

He comes to a stop a few paces behind her.

 

“Why are you crying?”

 

To the point as ever. She’d laugh if she could bring herself to.

 

“I don’t…” She takes a steadying breath, for all the good it does. “I don’t want to talk about it.”

 

She can imagine he’s frowning now, concern growing.

 

“...I see.”

 

Silence follows, but she knows he has more to say.

 

“If you should change your mind, come find me. I’ll lend you my ear.” Saying this, he passes her by, not so much as glancing over his shoulder to get a glimpse of her teary face. She’s truly grateful for it.

 

Feldt takes her shower, letting the steam and hot water comfort her as best it can. She tries not to think about anything pertaining to the day’s events, but what took place in the hangar keeps drifting back into her mind uninvited: a perverse imitation of anything and everything she’d ever wished she could have gotten from Neil.

 

Neil would never act so unabashedly  _sleazy._

 

Turning off the water, she considers taking Tieria up on his offer.

 

While everyone loved Neil, it was __different__  for the two of them. She remembers having thought of Tieria as a rival, long ago, though it was an amicable (and one-sided) rivalry. And rather childish, in hindsight. The memory puts a small smile on her face.

 

What was once a rivalry is now but a love they have in common. Something that can bind them together rather than push them apart.

 

Yes. She’ll speak with Tieria after all.

 

* * *

 

The chaos that follows takes her mind off the subject of Lyle Dylandy for a time, but the minute there’s a moment of peace, she once again can’t get the events of the other day out of her head.

 

It’s eleven thirty-six P.M. Greenwich Mean Time, and Feldt is standing in front of Tieria’s door, hand curled into a fist, ready to knock.

 

She closes her eyes and takes a deep breath before she raps it twice and says, “It’s me.”

 

Feldt hears footsteps and then the door slides open, Tieria standing before her. He nods his acknowledgement.

 

“Come in,” he says. “Unless you wish to speak elsewhere?”

 

She shakes her head. “No. This is fine.”

 

Secretly, she’s relieved that Tieria hasn’t forgotten about his offer. It wouldn’t be like him to forget, she knows, but there's only so much arguing one can do with their own anxious thoughts.

 

She notes that this marks the first time she’s ever been in his room, never having had a reason to enter before. It’s neat and tidy, not one particle of dust to be seen. There are no clothes lying out, and Tieria has no personal possessions on display. It’s a sterile room, but Feldt doesn’t mind. It’s how she pictured Tieria would keep his living space, and what is expected provides comfort.

 

“Do you mind if I sit here?” Feldt asks, gesturing to his crisply made bed.

 

“Go ahead,” Tieria says, taking a seat at the chair in front of his desk and turning it to face her. “I’m aware this room does not have much in the way of furniture.”

 

He’s sitting with his back straight, alert, and unlike earlier, he’s looking right at her. Feldt’s never seen a cat in person, but she imagines this is what it’s like to be watched by one. Unable to meet his stare, naturally intense by virtue of his red eyes, her gaze falls to her lap where her hands are folded.

 

She doesn’t say anything at first, and he doesn’t press her.

 

“It’s about -- Lockon’s brother,” she manages to say, and when she hazards a glance upward, she can see that the look in his eyes has instantly hardened.

 

“I don’t trust that man,” Tieria offers unprompted.

 

“He’s definitely not Lockon,” Feldt replies quietly. “I thought… maybe he would be like his brother, but I was stupid to think that.”

 

She smiles bitterly.

 

”Maybe I brought it on myself,” she mutters.

 

For being such a foolish, love-struck little girl.

 

Chasing shadows of the past.

 

Doesn't she know better by now?

 

Icy suspicion laces Tieria’s voice as he instantly replies, “What did he do?”

 

“It’s not… as bad as whatever you might be thinking, Tieria,” she says.

 

“But it was enough to leave you in tears,” he counters. He pauses for a moment, seeming frustrated, and then amends his words. “I apologize. I shouldn't be so prying.”

 

“It’s alright. I’m not upset.”

 

“Even so,” he says.

 

Once again, the room goes quiet as Feldt gathers her thoughts. She hopes she doesn’t start crying again. She’s so tired of shedding tears. She wants to be strong, strong enough to keep on living no matter what, just like Christina and Lockon and her parents would have wanted for her. She wants to make them proud, wherever they are.

 

 

When she thinks she can speak steadily, she says, “Seeing him… Lyle Dylandy… made it feel like _Lockon_ was back. I know they’re not the same person, but if I just imagined… everything felt like how it used to.”

 

“The physical resemblance between the two is nearly one-to-one,” Tieria murmurs.

 

“I got caught up in that fantasy… so I’ve been watching him ever since he got here,” she says. “But a fantasy is all it was. He… made thatclear.”

   
_Congratulations,_ she thinks. _I’ll never mistake you for Lockon again._

 _  
_ Tieria narrows his eyes, but keeps quiet.

  
Feldt wrings her hands.

   
“Haro told him that I… that I’d liked Lockon,” she says, feeling the embarrassment wash over her again. “He told me that he wasn’t his brother, but if that was alright, he didn’t mind if… we got closer,” she says.

 

She can’t possibly bring herself to look at Tieria now. “He grabbed my chin, and... he kissed me.”

  
Feldt doesn’t know what he’s going to say to that. Part of her fears it’s going to be nothing more than ‘that’s all?’.

 

Instead, Tieria rises from his seat in a swift motion.

 

“That good-for-nothing…!”

 

He’s livid.

 

“I have no tolerance for such inappropriate conduct,” he says in that familiar tone both stern and incensed. “From a Gundam Meister, no less! He must be reprimanded.”

 

Between the way he says it and the fact he’s already on his feet, it sounds as if he’d like to take action __right now.__ It wouldn’t be out of character for him. If Lockon’s brother is asleep, he’ll wake him up and his punishment will proceed from there. Simple.

 

“--Tieria, wait,” she says quickly, concern crossing her features. “This isn’t…”

 

_…what I want._

 

Tieria doesn’t appear to understand where she’s coming from, but he doesn’t make to leave the room.

 

“There is official protocol for dealing with situations such as this,” he says. “All members of Celestial Being must adhere to a certain code of conduct. You know this.”

 

“Yes. I do,” she says. “But…”

 

“Are you embarrassed?” he asks, softer now, but more uncertainly too, as if this is a possibility he is unsure how to navigate. “You’ve done nothing wrong.”

 

“I… I am,” she admits, and hates herself for it. “But there’s more to it than that. I don’t… I mean…”

 

She shakes her head.

 

She takes a deep breath, and stands up to meet Tieria head-on.

 

“This is my problem to deal with! I don’t want you or Miss Sumeragi or anyone else to handle it for me.”

 

And damn it all, she can feet pinpricks of wetness in the corner of her eyes.

 

“Feldt Grace…”

 

“I wanted to change… I wanted to become stronger. If anyone is going to confront him about this, I want it to be me," Feldt says.

 

Tieria listens to her, searches her face. “I don’t think,” he says slowly, “that being a ‘strong’ person means relying only on oneself.”

 

“I know that,” Feldt says with a touch of frustration. “Believe me. You all… Celestial Being… You’re my family. And I know family can rely on one another."

 

She closes her eyes for a moment, centering herself. "But I don’t want other people solving issues that I can handle. I’m not afraid of Lyle Dylandy. I’m going to tell him exactly what I think… no matter what.”

 

The threat of shedding tears fades as easily as it had come on.

 

“If it were Christina Sierra,” says Feldt, “that’s what she’d do.”

 

Her resolve is palpable.

 

It isn’t always visible, but a strong core rests at the heart of Feldt Grace.

 

Tieria stares at her for another moment before bowing his head.

 

“Very well. This is your grievance, therefore you have the right to resolve it as you see fit.”

 

Feldt smiles then, filled with immediate relief.

 

“Thank you, Tieria. It… means a lot that you care.”

 

There’s a gentleness from him as he replies, “I learned from Lockon how to care for others.”

 

“We all learned so much from him, didn’t we…?”

 

“We truly did.”

 

A warmth blossoms within her chest, and she rests both hands over her heart. Feldt settles back into her seat, and Tieria follows suit.

 

Tieria murmurs, “Family, you said…”

 

Feldt nods. “I don’t remember my parents… Celestial Being… is all I’ve ever had."

 

Tieria makes a solemn sound, as if he isn’t quite sure how to answer that, but respects the gravity of the admission all the same.

 

 “...I had Veda. I did not need friends or family so long as I had Veda. When I lost it, I believed I had lost everything." Tieria then says, "And then I realized that I had Lockon."

 

Feldt remembers. Losing Veda had lead to Tieria allowing Lockon into his heart.

 

And allowing Lockon into his heart had allowed him to let others into it, too. Through Lockon, Tieria grew kind.

 

“What was he…”

 

She starts to speak, but she lets her words trail off, unsure if her question should be spoken.

 

“Feldt?” Tieria asks.

 

She gathers her nerve and asks, “What was he to you?" And immediately after, she adds, “I’m sorry. I don’t mean to be nosy.”

 

But he doesn’t chide her.

 

“Lockon was… important to me,” he says, picking his words carefully. “All of you are important to me, but Lockon…”

 

Feldt smiles understandingly.

 

“He was special?”

 

“Yes. He was special.”

 

“I think… he was special to both of us. In the same way.”

 

And Tieria smiles too.

 

“You may be right, Feldt Grace.”

 

Rivals -- it strikes her again how silly a thought that had been.

 

She happens to glance at the clock in the room, and she can’t hide her shock when she realizes it’s past midnight.

 

“I can’t believe I took up so much of your time…!”

 

“Don't concern yourself over it. I took into consideration how much time would likely pass when I invited you in.”

 

He’s so matter of fact about it that she doubts she can’t take him at face value. Tieria has no compunctions about telling people what he thinks. If she were imposing on him, he would let her know.

 

Then again, maybe he wouldn’t. Tieria may be Tieria, but would her need to talk with him move him enough to allow her to be an imposition?

 

“I can get by on less sleep than most,” he says, obviously picking up on her uncertainty. There’s something almost prideful in his statement. It’s oddly endearing. “Feldt Grace, if anyone needs to retire for the night, it is you.”

 

“...You’re right. It’s been a long…”

 

Long night? Long day? Long week? Long existence?

 

She settles on, “I am a little tired.”

 

“You are vital to Celestial Being,” Tieria tells her. “You need to… ‘fully recharge’, as they say, to be at your peak both mentally and physically.”

 

The phrase sounds unnatural coming from him, and she wonders where he picked it up from. It reminds her of herself: a person who’s never fit in, trying her best to become more normal. Maybe that’s why Christina always wanted to do things like take her out shopping whenever it was possible. Feldt could never live the life of a normal girl, but that didn’t mean Christina couldn’t give her a taste of that experience…

 

“Did I say something amusing?” Tieria asks with a raised eyebrow.

 

Feldt laughs, not even having noticed she’d broke into another smile.

 

“...I just… remembered a warm memory. That’s all,” she says.

 

Tieria can’t seem to follow the train of thought that lead Feldt to that memory, but he’s not insulted. If anything, it seems that beyond his confusion, he’s pleased.

 

Feldt finally stands up to leave.

 

“I…” Bashfully, she averts her gaze to the floor. “I can’t thank you enough, Tieria.”

 

Tieria has to think about his answer to that.

 

“You said that we are like your family. For the longest time, I understood ‘family’ to be nothing more than a word for individuals connected by blood or marriage. But it seems that there is far more to it than that: emotional components I am still only now becoming aware of. If supporting and relying on those that matter to you is part of what makes a family… Then there is no need to thank me.”

 

“...Tieria…”

 

It doesn’t feel like weakness when she has to wipe the wetness from her eyes this time.

 

Even now, it’s a rare thing for Tieria to bare his heart to another in this way. This is a precious moment, not one she’ll take for granted.

 

“I’ll tell you how it goes. With Lyle Dylandy, I mean.”

 

Tieria nods sharply and says, “You have my unconditional support in this matter.”

 

And as the door to his room slides open, Feldt about to make her exit, he adds, “Rest well.”

 

She pauses in the doorway and turns around one last time to face him. “You too… so... don’t stay up __too__ late, okay?”

 

“If you insist,” Tieria responds warmly.

 

Feldt returns to her room, emboldened.

 

She’ll confront Lyle Dylandy without shedding a tear: with this truth in mind, she sleeps soundly.


End file.
